Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
