what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
