that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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