I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize