what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize