i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
