Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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