I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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