Where did you get a picture of my penis
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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