u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
