no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
