You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
