Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
