she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't put those talents on a resume
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
