Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
