butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize