We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
