HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
