When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
