and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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