ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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