I wish I could teleport
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We got so high we made milksteak
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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