I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
