Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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