He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
