He had one of those small greek statue penises
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize