I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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