Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
