Dual....:-)
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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