I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i barfeds in our rink
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
