these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
