Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just cropdusted the office
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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