I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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