Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
