My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
