I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
