I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
