Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
