Whod you bang
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
