I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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