Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
