You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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