is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
