Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
