..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
