apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
