just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
