i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
In America we eat man semen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize