No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
