I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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