It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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