**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
