Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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