She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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