We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
