He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize