Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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