I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
