i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
