dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
