He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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