Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i came on her dog
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
