absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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