Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
