Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
