Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
