Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
