Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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